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YouNeverStopLearning.com Newsletter
ALD, Inc.
March 21, 2005
In this issue: Dealing with People - Sometimes Difficult People - at Work
From: Christine Johnson, President/CEO
How many times a week do you stew on the way home about something a co-worker said?You were offended or indignant or furious, you know the co-worker didn’t have a clue (and probably didn’t care!) they’d created this reaction. Ever happen?
My sister brought this experience to mind forcefully this week with an incident in her workplace where a co-worker made a completely senseless, critical remark directed at her in a meeting. We talked about all the should have/could have saids – all those pithy comebacks that occur to you hours after the event when you’re still stewingand the other person is enjoying a glass of something yummy after work!
Her situation brought to mind that age-old question, “Why can’t we just get along at work”? I think that question really means, “Why can’t we just respect each other at work”? We may not like one another, but ideally we do respect different opinions, we don’t make personal attacks (as my sister experienced), we just recognize that we’re not all alike and somehow must make those differences mesh at work.
Thinking about differences in people, do you ever wonder why...
- You intend to convey one message, but get a totally unexpected response from someone? Where did that come from you wonder?!?!?
- You regularly experience friction with a co-worker though you're both on the same team working for the same goals?
- Some co-workers drive you crazy with detail and can't focus on the big picture!?
- Some co-workers can only see the big picture and have no patience for detail!?
- Some people can't keep up with the pace of change – after all, it’s our way of life!
- Others seem to thrive on creating change?
I could go on with "wonder why's", but you know the point...people are different! We behave differently, we're driven by varied needs...and we aren't going to change others, are we?
We may not be able to change others, but we can make simple, smart behavior adaptations ourselves to improve our interactions with others. That's what Interpersonal Effectiveness is all about - getting along with others in a particular situation to accomplish certain goals. The situation may be at work, at home, in school or in the community, but its success depends on our ability to function successfully with others - even though they behave very differently!
Consider approaching Interpersonal Effectiveness by understanding behavioral styles. We all have behavioral tendencies that others see on a regular basis at work.Those observable behaviors provide clues to our basic style.
Basic styles are usually defined in four categories and I’ll use the DiSC® Dimensions of Behavior to identify them - there are other descriptors, but we’ll use this one:
D for Dominance
I for Influence
S for Steadiness
C for Conscientiousness
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D ominance |
The drive to control, to achieve results.
The basic intent is to overcome. |
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I nfluence |
The drive to influence, to be expressive, to be heard.
The basic intent is to persuade. |
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S teadiness |
The drive to be stable and consistent.
The basic intent is to support. |
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C onscientiousness |
The drive to be right, sure and safe.
The basic intent is to be correct. |
Let me offer an example most of us can relate to in clarifying the styles.Remember the sitcom “Cheers”? You know…Sam, Diane, Frazier, Carla, Cliff and Norm. One thing that made that so successful (besides great writing!) was their mix of personalities. So what were they?
Thinking about the four styles outlined above, consider Sam. He had one objective, was very focused on it, worked to overcome obstacles and charmed women to his way of seeing things. A D/I style?
How about Diane? Very nit-picky, always needed to have the last word and to be right.A C style?
Norm…had his favorite bar stool, was put out when it wasn’t available to him, didn’t have to order because he always had the same thing to drink. An S style?
Why a question mark after each style? Because we only have the character’s observable behaviors to go on and my knowledge of behavior styles and those characters leads me to these conclusions. There is certainly more to any person than what they display to the world, but the clues I’m given lead me here. Someone else may conclude otherwise.
And here’s the key to real interpersonal effectiveness: if you can recognize a co-worker’s behavioral style, you have powerful information about how they like to do things, how they are best approached, what drives them, and how your style complements theirs or can conflict with theirs.
Why is this powerful information? It isn't enough to "label" someone a D, i, S, or C. This isn't about hanging tags on co-workers. Imagine a workplace where co-workers tried to develop better working relationships! We may not be able to change others, but we can recognize their style and we can make simple, smart behavior adaptations ourselves to improve our interactions with others. Less stewing on the way home from work!
Remember…that's what Interpersonal Effectivenessis all about - getting along with others in a particular situation to accomplish certain goals. The situation may be at work, at home, in school or in the community, but its success depends on our ability to function successfully with others - even though they behave very differently!
All we need is the knowledge to be able to:
- Understand our own behavioral style – what drives us and how that tends to make us behave
- Recognize other behavioral styles to we can best adapt behavior to improve working relationships
- Make the best behavioral adaptations to do a better job of getting along at work
Effective leaders in organizations recognize the importance of creating an environment where people are equipped with this kind of information - it’s not just about feeling good; it’s about the bottom line results! Better working relationships lead to at least these outcomes:
- Improved teamwork – focused on common goals and willing to work together to reach them
- Improved overall business results – greater respect and determination to accomplish business objectives
- Less conflict – and a way to deal with conflict that will naturally arise
- More productivity in the workplace – less time hassling, more time focused on results
- Improved customer relations – you’re more conscious of the customer’s style and how to best respond to it
Because it matters, ALD conducts a workshop aimed at this very topic – in fact, we call it Building Better Business Relationships. It’s been a great success because of our clients’ reactions and because of results it’s delivered. A workshop of six hours – it’s all about minimizing personal conflicts and maximizing respect for differences for the benefit of everyone.
Call us to explore how Building Better Business Relationships can make an improvement in your organization’s working environment and ultimately,
your bottom line results
Check out the workshop details here: Building Better Business Relationships
Learn more about the DiSC® Dimensions of Behavior & DiSC formats
Many of our online or classroom courses build on DiSC® knowledge – visit our website at YouNeverStopLearning.com and discover the range of applications for DiSC®
Upcoming Events offers a variety of professional skill-building opportunities
©2005 ALD, Inc. All rights reserved.
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ALD, Inc. | 3021 Lake Forest Drive | Hayden Lake, ID 83835
Christine Johnson, President & CEO
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